I came across this post on Quora and was drawn into the fact that, mindfulness has helped this person take care of himself and also bring effects of his illness under control. I am sharing his story below
Source : Quora
Question : Which is harder: Having schizophrenia or taking care of a another schizophrenic?
The funny thing with this question is that unless you have schizophrenia and take care of another afflicted person any answer provided seems to fall short of the question. Schizophrenia is a spectrum disorder. I am diagnosed withschizo-affective disorder which means I have both schizophrenia and major depression. I consider myself highly functioning. With that said, it has been harder on those in my life than myself. So many of my relationships have deteriorated into nothingness because of my illness. The few relationships I have maintained, especially the one with my mom, are due to the fact that these people in my life have an extraordinary amount of compassion, love, and steadfast dedication to my well being. These people are not mentally immune to the hardships I have put them through despite their enduring positive presence in my life.
With that said, I am most ashamed of what I have put my mom through. I have used her as my personal punching bag. She is the first one I hit (metaphorically) when I feel shame about who I am. She deals with my wrath when I rage. She listens to me talk to my walls every night I need to speak to my demons. And she is the one picking up all the pieces of my broken self and helping me stitch them back together again when the commotion is over. My mother is my hero.
As someone who has lived with mental illness for over 15 years now I am strong in saying that no ordinary person can take care of another person afflicted with this illness. It takes dedication and the firm belief that there is no other option out there for this person because really there is no other loving alternative out there than you, the mother, sister, daughter, son, brother, husband, or wife of whomever is in your life dealing with this illness. Most likely you are the only one out there for them in their times of need so please stay strong.
To be honest, when I am putting my mother through hell, I am aware of what I am doing. It is just that I lack the regulatory functioning ability to change my behavior. I know that it is wrong. I just do not have the strength or presence of mind to come up with a better alternative to behave at the time.
In recent months I have been working hard on cultivating mindfulness which has been a tremendous help in my ability to recognize what my thoughts are when I am having them and test whether they are reality based which allows me to better be able to change my behavior before the bad stuff starts to happen. Unfortunately this is not always the case but it has allowed for a big improvement of the amount of outbursts or breaks I do have.
Care is expensive. I am in a rare position in my life because I have had access to the best care that is out there (at least in my opinion). My former psychiatrist is my best friend and we talk every week. He has been in my life in that way for 11 years now. As someone who otherwise could not afford such care on a regular basis, it is a blessing that I have access to such a dedicated person and professional in my life. He is my rock when I need someone to anchor myself to. I have put him through the ringer too. I have never been that worried about what I am doing to his emotional health when I go to beat him up (again metaphorically). He is usually my next stop after I have destroyed my mom. What is good for me that he always does is that talking with him brings me back into reality because he does it in a gentle respectful way.
I am one of the most loved people with severe mental illness out there! And again my illness is not in severe form although mentioning the word schizophrenia tends to frighten and scare people off. This illness tends to weed out those faint of heart. So please stay strong if you are a care taker because my mom’s love (and my former psychiatrist’s as well) is a main part of why I am still here fighting on forging the path to my best self and my best life. These are the people that sustain me. They are the reason I am still alive.
If you are someone with the illness asking this question I wish I could tell you each schizophrenic person’s perspective is the same but in fact it can be drastically different. I have heard stories of people smearing feces on walls (which I have never and cannot ever imagine doing)and seen people on the streets talking non-sense to themselves audibly. I do this too but only in private.
My wish for you too is that you continue to fight on because with the right treatment, life gradually becomes livable again. And once you are functioning a livable life and have started to reality test your delusions away then I would recommend you invest in learning about positive psychology. Because the factthat you have just one person that stands by you through your worst is one of the greatest gifts you could have being someone with this illness. Recognizing this gift and celebrating it every day especially expressing your thankfulness to that person makes you or at least it makes me a happy and content human being. I have two of those human beings in my life now and am working on making room for a third.
I am not where I want to be in life yet but I am going in the right direction. I will get to my best self and when I do I owe that progress, not only to myself because you need to give yourself credit for sometimes just existing on the hard days, but to those who have stood with me during the storms of my life. The people with you when you’re at your worst are the ones you want to surround yourself and celebrate life with when you are at your best. Trust me on this one! Good luck.