It will be one year, this May, since I decided to listen to myself and live a life according to what I feel is right, following my heart. The problem when you listen to others is that, two people might say two contradictory things and listening to one person might mean, making the other person your enemy, at the same time, also knowing that you are not following your heart.
Let’s rewind, 365 days back. I had several questions running through my mind and I had to take some decisions fast.It was not an easy decision, but something in me told me to follow my heart, even if it meant hurting people who were close to me, because I was no more following their directions, blindly. It meant rethinking friendships, reevaluating my relationship with my parents and also rethinking the way, I was spending time.
But once I began my journey, with no idea as how I must proceed, it almost felt like an accelerating downward spiral. Everything looked so dark, it was one of the most difficult patches in my life, almost comparable to the emotional turmoil I experienced during 2002 – 2004. But then when I called out,to all ends of the universe, help was at hand, in terms of friends, my dear mom – who so compassionate and understanding, some amazing books(Osho, yogananda)and talks ( Sadguru, TED ) about spirituality.
I realized that, if I am happy, I can also make people around me a lot happy. This was a major learning and also that I don’t have to satisfy people ALL THE TIME.
It all started with strengthening friendships, joining a new music band ( Anonymous, with Karthik, Sam and Poornima ), outreach program ( time spent with differently abled kids, teaching kids during the evening sessions), concentrating more on my hobbies ( drawing, music, took photography very very seriously), MBA, car driving lessons from dad, and bike riding lessons from Jose pepan. The long vacations with my family meant traveling to different places and spending some quality time with my family, maintaining multiple blogs and updating them regularly, composed several poems, and gave life to 2. Also took up singing lessons and considerably improved my singing, started cooking with so much confidence, working out and the list just goes on.
Although everything looked like a dead end, it bloomed into several new experiences which I could have never dreamed about, including getting a new keyboard ( piano ),joined gym after several years, new headphones and amp resulting in so much better listening experience, took diet more seriously ( more fruits and vegetables)new lens and camera equipment ( including flash, and filters), sketch pad, and buying several books without any guilty feeling. The regular meditation sessions, long Skype chat sessions with mom, all helped me become a person, that I always dreamed about becoming
So another May has come, and it’s 2015. What am I looking forward for ?
I want to take everything to the next level
- By May 2016, I would have completed 3 semesters of MBA in flying colours ( I had not even thought about joining MBA)
- I would have got license for both two wheeler and four wheeler
- Hobbies : More poems and more songs, released on youtube along with my own covers and originals in electric guitar, bass and keyboard. More drawing with my sketchpad, advanced cooking recipes
- Multiple jam up sessions with the anonymous band, and work with Siva on the movie
- My first app in android
- Workout taken to the next level, helping me reach my fitness goals
- Spirituality ofcourse
- Travel and read books
The list posted above is just a guideline. Last year with absolutely no plans and with a bleak ending in sight, by God’s grace everything turned out to be beyond my wildest imagination. So with a guideline in place, that I have laid for myself, I am expecting another year, full of new experiences and learning, which I had never experienced before.
With the love and support of people who are close to me, along with God’s grace, I believe I will never have to look back again. Thank you everyone, for being there, when I really needed you. You know who you are. God bless.